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Life is like a TV show

Thursday, October 16

WOW. back to Him. @ 02:17

WOO.. just did quiet time.. FINALLY, after such a long time that i started praying and worshiping again. i knew that i have to do this because there is no other way except through God. coz like wad i have said, no one can satisfy you except the one true God who knows exactly the desires of your heart.

and i knew that if i carried on like this, i will short change the members and they will not be able to experience an open door because rise and fall lies in the leadership and anointing flows from the head down not the other way. and i knew that the CG is experiencing a lack of anointing and excitment because of my NDWness.

BUT finally, i am starting to keep the ball rolling now and i have FAITH that it will keep on rolling.

today, He brought me back to the time when i said that i want to be a leader.

it was a large meeting at the Kallang Indoor Stadium and Pastor Ulf Ekman was preaching. during the ministry, he called for all the main helpers and leaders to come down to the altar call to receive an anointing for their leadership. i also wanted so much for the anointing but i am not a main helper neither a leader. so i confessed deep in my heart saying "i want to be like them too. receiving the anointing that You are giving to them." and like wad i knew about it, definitely when much is given, much will be required.

i saw Denise from E243 who was under Adrian at that time and Roy from our CG which was W193 then walking down and somehow i knew that i wasn't God's plan A.

and He reminded me that actually i wasn't His plan A but it was suppose to be those people who went down. BUT because of my FAITH, it was given to me. and He reminded me about the same thing that He mentioned during service last last week.

Jesus did not come for the Gentiles but for the Jews. BUT the Gentile woman did not lose heart and said "Yes, Lord, yet even the little dogs eat the crumbs which fall from their masters' table." then Jesus answered and said to her, "O woman, great is your FAITH! Let it be to you as you desire."

today, i experience greater anointing, even more than wad i imagined and that time, when i just started out as a CGL, the CG has already experienced many signs and wonders with great power of God moving mightily during the CGM. people could see visions and dreams, sing in the Spirit, fall under the power, sense the great heat because of the fire of God, i prophesied and even healed the broken hearted. now i know, it was because of the same cry that i cried out to God which Elisha did too. and he too, received a double portion of the anointing.

TRULY, its not by might nor by power but by the SPIRIT.

then God showed me AGAIN the vision which was given to me when i was just 11 or 12 years old. the vision of a dove bringing the good news to the people. and reminded me about growing the CG (Expo + JW) to 50 by end of February 2009. i just knew that it can be done because i can see it and because God is not slacken on His promises BUT will have His promises all come to pass.

Tuesday, October 14

BAD. @ 12:42

its been such a long time since i updated this blog.

nothing much but there are many words spoken from Him. i just feel like i don't really want to move on. i find it difficult to even pray and do stuff. how?

i'm really somehow sick and tired of doing things. just want to cruise and play. but i knew that if i do so, i'm going to regret for life.

i know wad i should be doing, but i dun have the motivations. and i know that i'm short changing myself and the group for growth and anointing and th promises of God to be fulfilled. but i really find it difficult to start praying again.

back to how i felt that time, sian sian SIAN. i knew exactly why.

i dun feel fulfilled.

Saturday, October 4

E399 outing. @ 04:37


went out with E399 on Wednesday on 01.10.08 which is Children's Day cum Hari Raya Day. was super tired.


cheong Sales Strategy meeting on Monday which i reached home only at 3am plus. then cheong Strategic Marketing meeting on Tuesday till 6.30pm then cheong to church office by alighting at Raffles Place MRT then walked 30mins following the route from Raffles Place MRT to Esplanade to Suntec City taking part of the F1 track. then after dropping the offering with ChingSeng at 8.10pm then took a chartered bus to City Hall MRT then walked 10mins to Riverwalk and reached there at 8.30pm when we met GuanZheng and went into meeting together. Pastor was talking about the reasons why backsliders, not doing well and non-committed leave church and the cell group. because of NS, commitment, cannot cope, unhappy with CGLs, exams etc. then Pastor said why not we focus on the backsliders?


then pastor also mentioned about the CGM having different things to do, he asked if it is effective. and i said, its totally effective coz of the flexibility that is given and members can expect different things. then Pastor commented "then who to make sure that it is a good one?" and i said leaders lor. then Pastor had a "ya lor, thats the problem, leaders" feeling coz i think the leaders are not taking the initiative to make sure it is good, our leaders are not reliable.


then at the end of the meeting, Ian told Pastor that i had 2 songs and Pastor asked me to send him the songs so that he can send to KC to change certain things to make it more professional. then some people in that meeting came to ask me if i really wrote the songs and i sang it myself. HAHA. FAINT. literally take word for word from Pastor. then we were suppose to go fellowship with Ian at TCC Clark Quey but he met the CGLs so late that he cancelled it. then Alarize came to find me to pass me the Tau Sar Piahs from Penang. i slept at 2am plus.


then i woke up at 7am to complete my Sales Strategy part that is the role-play evaluations for DanYing and Gerald and the team availability. i did it till 11am plus. then i went to meet Alarize at 12.10pm. Super tired. but it was a relaxing day. we just sat there and relax and breeze blowing at us. HAHA. its really shiok and it has been a super long time since i really experience it. well, it can be shown in the photos. HAHA. but only MIC ED YW Alarize Alyscia Lionel Kitty and Me were present. BRA IVAN were studying some where and HEN was meeting his friends.
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I am colour blind. I am tall. I hate things that pops out suddenly, bursting of balloons and PAIN. I can be shy sometimes.

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