Life is like a TV show

I spoke to my boss partner and discussed about entrepreneurship and came to a conclusion that it is easy to start a business but sustainability is the challenge. We need the capital and guts to take the first step but we need endurance, creativity and perseverance to sustain the business.

How many can actually sustain? You see many disappearing after a year or so; only a few survived.

I think you can see that in our journey with God. It is easy to say "God, I'll walk with You, I'll always choose to walk with You" etc. It is a challenge to take the first step because it requires faith, trust and getting out of your comfort zone.

It is toughest to sustain your journey with God and eventually finish the race. You will meet with various obstacles, doubts, challenges, test and trials as you go along the way. And thats when you need to remind yourself why you took the first step in the first place.

Hold on and keep walking. Warfare alongside with the Holy Spirit, He is your helper, your guide.

Put on the helmet of salvation, breastplate of righteousness, belt of truth, shoe of peace, shield of faith and the sword of the Spirit.

Fight a good fight and finish the race. You will realise that it is all worth it to go through as you overcome time and time again.

There is a sudden sense of guilt.

Why?

Doing the unthinkable, the unusual, the crazy stuff.

Show me Your way.

Something is amiss.

Something is lacking.

Something is missing.

I was a little lost, I had no direction or understanding as to where I should head to in terms of my career.

I spoke to my boss and asked a simple question: what kept you going on even when the beginning is tough?

He shared a few reasons. Retirement plans and workplace politics in big companies. The last reason kept me thinking.

Setting up a company gives him space and flexibility to explore new business ideas and do what he wants to do. Most importantly, he feels a sense of achievement, satisfaction and fufillment whenever he sees his work around. People taking the bag that his company has manufactured, the signages in shops that his company did, the t-shirts, corporate gifts that he did for the clients.

Everyone has different ways to have this sense of achievements, satisfaction and fulfillment in life.

What's mine?

I'm so blessed and honored to be a vessel for You.

Thank You for using me all these while and building me up again.

I would sing this song... I'll try...

TRY by Asher Book

If I walk would you run
If I stop would you come
If I say you’re the one would you believe me
If I ask you to stay would you show me the way
Tell me what to say so you don’t leave me
The world is catching up to you
while you're running away to chase your dream
Its time for us to make a move cause we are asking one another to change
and maybe im not ready

but I'll try for your love
I can hide up above
I will try for your love
we’ve been hiding enough

if I sing you a song would you sing along
or wait till im gone , oh how we push and pull
if I give you my heart would you just play the part
or tell me it’s the start of something beautiful
am I catching up to you
while you're running away , to chase your dreams
its time for us to face the truth cause we are coming to each other to change
and maybe im not ready

But I'll try for your love
I can hide up above
I will try for your love
we’ve been hiding enough

I will try for your love
I can hide up above

2x Huh huhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh huh huhhh

If I walk would you run
If I stop would you come
If I say you’re the one would you believe me

It is a joy to chat with you..

Jar Of Hearts by Christina Perri

I know I can't take one more step towards you
'Cause all that's waiting is regret
And don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore?
You lost the love I loved the most

And I learned to live, half-alive
And now you want me one more time

And who do you think you are?
Runnin' 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart

You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are?

I hear you're asking all around
If I am anywhere to be found
But I have grown too strong
To ever fall back in your arms

And I learned to live, half-alive
And now you want me one more time

And who do you think you are?
Runnin' 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart

You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are?

Dear, it took so long just to feel alright
Remember how to put back the light in my eyes
I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed
Cause you broke all your promises

And now you're back
You don't get to get me back

And who do you think you are?
Runnin' 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart

You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Don't come back at all

And who do you think you are?
Runnin' 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart

You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
Don't come back for me
Don't come back at all

Who do you think you are?

Who do you think you are?

Who do you think you are?

Okok.. I get it.. You were in camp! That explains the total silence.

But it doesn't mean anything; still it doesn't.

I realize there is still hope. The hope that does not disappoint still exist for that particular thing.

Along with that hope, a question is still unanswered. Are the efforts of hoping that it would come to past a vain one? And have I been hoping for the wrong thing?

But there is a journey to fulfil. I can doubt all I want until it happens. When it happens I will think back and conclude that the doubts I had are unnecessary because God is always faithful. Time is always the factor. This is a cycle whenever the thing which we hope for has yet to exist or come true.

Now I could only keep on holding on, believing and knowing that He would be faithful to make it happen.

"Sacrifice" is easy to spell but the "act of sacrifice" is easier said than done.

I know opportunities and promotions come through situations. I need Your grace, your supernatural power to go through this.

"My flesh is weak but my Spirit is willing."

The Holy Spirit is always standing by. Whenever you call for help, He will stretch out His hands to lead yours. Have this revelation that He is always at your right hand ready to help.

And I feel like I'm learning the hands on experience of sacrifice as I walk the walk; learning as I go His way.

He will never give you something You cannot bear. Its just a matter whether you choose to yield and abide.

"My flesh is weak but my Spirit is willing."

My friend ever commented that man (XY chromosomes) are selfish people. I corrected her and said "all man are selfish."

Everyone is ever ready to think about themselves, "me" "I" "myself" as a priority. That is human.

But it takes effort and great strength to go against it to care for others and put yourself a second priority.

Personally I know I do have such weakness of being self-centered especially when I'm the youngest in the family as well as the only girl. It takes a conscientious effort not to be one.

Everyone places their interest first. But I pray that through His grace I can be different.

I was reminded once again that You knew my desires, my heart desires.

You know what I need, what I am looking for, what I seek after.

You know me.

When I started blogging in September 2008, it just had a simple purpose - memory. I knew my brain could only remember so much and forget the rest which are just as important.

Nevertheless, I blog to create a place where I could pour out all my thoughts just like any other individuals. I do have times when its good and bad, happy and sad, motivated and discouraged, edified and disappointed, doing well and not doing well. There are times when I struggle mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Basically, I wanted to show every side of me especially the human side of me, the reality of the world and truth.

But as I grew older in terms of age and mature spiritually, the purpose of blogging changed. It is to write out my thoughts so that I could consider and think about things more carefully as well as record what happened and what was said.

Every post contains the thoughts which I reflect upon and think through.

A friend text me to say that he was encouraged just by reading my blog. I am glad that what I wrote could edify another. But I am even more glad to be a vessel that He could use. For it is not by might nor by power but by the Spirit of God.

I will keep on writing to record my thoughts, consider them and remember them as well as encourage those whobare reading.

You are never alone neither will you ever be the only one going through what you are going through.

Yesterday was my 2nd driving lesson and I was reminded about a thing.

Complacency will never give you reaons to learn because you think you already know enough. Humility is still the best because it tells you how much you know and how much more you do not.

When I meet with my challenge every morning, my flesh still wins. I reflected on my relationship with people and God today.

I realize that it is a common thing that people become complacent with one another when they know each oyher well enough. And we sub-consciously apply it to our relationship with God and be complacent. Thinking that we know enough, we do not know much at all.

As I walked to office, I realize there is so much more about God that I do not know. And I know the promise of a Friend has never been void. It was my part to play which I did not play well while my Friend has always been faithful.

Humility is what I desire because I want to know so much more about You. And I want to walk right beside You, knowing Your heartbeat.

You said You will never leave me nor forsake me.

You said You will take my hand and walk right beside me, hand in hand.

Lord, I know that in order to walk closer to You, I will need to take Your hand. I know in order to be Your witness, I need to be a partaker of Your holiness. I know in order to be a partaker of Your holiness, I need to surrender my flesh and be conformed to Your image.

Lord, I give You all my mindsets, thoughts, perspectives, value systems and desires to You in exchange with a closer relationship with You, in exchange for Your promise to be fulfilled all the time that You will walk right beside me.

First lesson is really fun and I was actually never nervous because I knew Mr Chua is standing by the brakes! Hahahaha!

He simply went through the important controls and we switched places.

(When stationary) First thing I did was to learn how to change gear and get use to the placement of each gear. Second, I learn how to use the clutch, break and accelerator followed by the handbrake. Then I learn the process of how to move forward and that's it.

Off I go to drive on the road! WHEeeeee~~

I learn how to feel the biting point, move forward and turn! Like seriously, I don't know if I'm normal. I really have a little difficulty turning, THE STEERING WHEEL. I don't have much problem starting the car, speed up, slow down and stop but I have problem turning. Hahahaha!!! I think usually the difficult part is those that I don't have much problem with.

AND I have problem multi-tasking! I literally heck about the road conditions and simply obeyed what Mr Chua said as well as concentrating on how to operate the car. Please don't be mad at me because my brain is no longer working during the last part of the lesson. Muahahahahaha!!! I can't absorb or remember what he said.

I think 1 thing about driving is feeling the car and be smooth with the whole process. And another would be to know that its alright to be slower, just don't freak out or be anxious. Be sure to take your time to carry out the whole process and you'll be alright.

I quite enjoy driving. It reminds me of rowing the bullet K1 so this shouldn't be a problem! Oh! And Mr Chua said that I can get my license by early September (if everything is smooth - pass)!! Yay! Rejoicing! I AM LOOKING FORWARD! *cheers!*

Matthew 16:26
For what profit is it to a man if he gains the whole world, and loses his own soul? Or what will a man give in exchange for his soul?

What is a stagnant Christian walk with God? It is trying to walk closer to your vision using the stale revelations which you got many years ago.

What is the point of wanting to do something for God when your Spirit is not fed with the presence of God and the fresh manna from Heaven?

Matthew 4:4
But He answered and said, “It is written, ‘Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God.’”

Jesus made it clear that our priority is first our relationship with God then our relationship with man through serving an ministering.

As much as we have our own desires to fulfil or lookout, we got to set our priorities right to walk the narrow way. The narrow way is specific and you need every spiritual disciplines to stay on course. Don't steer away and lose your eternal calling.

What is right, what is wrong?

What is wise, what is foolishness?

What is not guilty, what is guilty?

What is righteous, what is unrighteous?

What seems right to one may seem otherwise to another.

I pray every decision that I make is a decision that the Holy Spirit directs. Let no decision or mindset I make be based on my own understanding, vision and experience. This is because I realize it limits the vision of God in my life.

At the end of the day, I choose to walk the narrow way because it will lead me closer to my bestest Friend. I hope I will always choose love because God is love.

I wanted to blog about this but typing on the keypad is always different from the keyboard.

I just wonder how does perspective comes about? When you are thinking, feeling and seeing the negative, what makes you change and start to be positive? Is it merely due to choice?

When you are sinking into a dark hole, what makes you realise, create a need to change and climb out of the dark hole? What gives you another option to choose when you are in that situation?

I think perception has very much got to do with knowledge. Knowledge to tell you that you don't have to be like this; you can think, feel and see otherwise. Knowledge of what each options will bring you and the outcome of each.

For example, someone has let you down, disappointed you by not fulfilling his promise to you. The normal reaction to this situation is to become angry, upset and hurt as a trust is broken. These reactions will soon spiral down into something deep like bitterness and hatred. If you have knowledge, you will understand clearly where these will lead you. Bitterness and hatred will soon have such big impact in your life that you change into a negative and ultra-sensitive person. If you have knowledge of another option of forgiveness and understand where it will lead you. You can weight the pros and cons and make a decision. You will learn that forgiveness will bring you more pros and cons although it may seem like justice has not take place. But more than these rationalism, if you know who God is, you will understand that there is really no point pursuing the matter on your own because you will never be alone. These will result to a different choice made and a changed perspective and a different outcome.

I also believe that with the knowledge and experience of God's character, it brings you a very different perspective towards people, life and situations. And that is why God also mentioned that we should renew our mind day by day and guard our hearts. Don't let daily life influence your positive mind and attitude as well as your emotions and feelings. Do the otherwise.

I also think that you have left. Its ok. There will come another.