Life is like a TV show

Monday, August 31

Inspiring story of David slaying Goliath. @ 20:30

1 Samuel 17
Now the Philistines gathered their armies together to battle, and were gathered together at Sochoh, which belongs to Judah; they encamped between Sochoh and Azekah, in Ephes Dammim. And Saul and the men of Israel were gathered together, and they encamped in the Valley of Elah, and drew up in battle array against the Philistines. The Philistines stood on a mountain on one side, and Israel stood on a mountain on the other side, with a valley between them. And a champion went out from the camp of the Philistines, named Goliath, from Gath, whose height was six cubits and a span. He had a bronze helmet on his head, and he was armed with a coat of mail, and the weight of the coat was five thousand shekels of bronze. And he had bronze armor on his legs and a bronze javelin between his shoulders. Now the staff of his spear was like a weaver's beam, and his iron spearhead weighed six hundred shekels; and a shield-bearer went before him. Then he stood and cried out to the armies of Israel, and said to them, "Why have you come out to line up for battle? Am I not a Philistine, and you the servants of Saul? Choose a man for yourselves, and let him come down to me. If he is able to fight with me and kill me, then we will be your servants. But if I prevail against him and kill him, then you shall be our servants and serve us." And the Philistine said, "I defy the armies of Israel this day; give me a man, that we may fight together." When Saul and all Israel heard these words of the Philistine, they were dismayed and greatly afraid.
Now David was the son of that Ephrathite of Bethlehem Judah, whose name was Jesse, and who had eight sons. And the man was old, advanced in years, in the days of Saul. The three oldest sons of Jesse had gone to follow Saul to the battle. The names of his three sons who went to the battle were Eliab the firstborn, next to him Abinadab, and the third Shammah. David was the youngest. And the three oldest followed Saul. But David occasionally went and returned from Saul to feed his father's sheep at Bethlehem. And the Philistine drew near and presented himself forty days, morning and evening. Then Jesse said to his son David, "Take now for your brothers an ephah of this dried grain and these ten loaves, and run to your brothers at the camp. And carry these ten cheeses to the captain of their thousand, and see how your brothers fare, and bring back news of them." Now Saul and they and all the men of Israel were in the Valley of Elah, fighting with the Philistines. So David rose early in the morning, left the sheep with a keeper, and took the things and went as Jesse had commanded him. And he came to the camp as the army was going out to the fight and shouting for the battle. For Israel and the Philistines had drawn up in battle array, army against army. And David left his supplies in the hand of the supply keeper, ran to the army, and came and greeted his brothers. Then as he talked with them, there was the champion, the Philistine of Gath, Goliath by name, coming up from the armies of the Philistines; and he spoke according to the same words. So David heard them. And all the men of Israel, when they saw the man, fled from him and were dreadfully afraid. So the men of Israel said, "Have you seen this man who has come up? Surely he has come up to defy Israel; and it shall be that the man who kills him the king will enrich with great riches, will give him his daughter, and give his father's house exemption from taxes in Israel." Then David spoke to the men who stood by him, saying, "What shall be done for the man who kills this Philistine and takes away the reproach from Israel? For who is this uncircumcised Philistine, that he should defy the armies of the living God? And the people answered him in this manner, saying, "So shall it be done for the man who kills him." Now Eliab his oldest brother heard when he spoke to the men; and Eliab's anger was aroused against David, and he said, "Why did you come down here? And with whom have you left those few sheep in the wilderness? I know your pride and the insolence of your heart, for you have come down to see the battle." And David said, "What have I done now? Is there not a cause?" Then he turned from him toward another and said the same thing; and these people answered him as the first ones did.
Now when the words which David spoke were heard, they reported them to Saul; and he sent for him. Then David said to Saul, "Let no man's heart fail because of him; your servant will go and fight with this Philistine." And Saul said to David, "You are not able to go against this Philistine to fight with him; for you are a youth, and he a man of war from his youth." But David said to Saul, "Your servant used to keep his father's sheep, and when a lion or a bear came and took a lamb out of the flock, I went out after it and struck it, and delivered the lamb from its mouth; and when it arose against me, I caught it by its beard, and struck and killed it. Your servant has killed both lion and bear; and this uncircumcised Philistine will be like one of them, seeing he has defied the armies of the living God." Moreover David said, "The Lord, who delivered me from the paw of the lion and from the paw of the bear, He will deliver me from the hand of this Philistine." And Saul said to David, "Go, and the Lord be with you!" So Saul clothed David with his armor, and he put a bronze helmet on his head; he also clothed him with a coat of mail. David fastened his sword to his armor and tried to walk, for he had not tested them. And David said to Saul, "I cannot walk with these, for I have not tested them." So David took them off.
Then he took his staff in his hand; and he chose for himself five smooth stones from the brook, and put them in a shepherd's bag, in a pouch which he had, and his sling was in his hand. And he drew near to the Philistine. So the Philistine came, and began drawing near to David, and the man who bore the shield went before him. And when the Philistine looked about and saw David, he disdained him; for he was only a youth, ruddy and good-looking. So the Philistine said to David, "Am I a dog, that you come to me with sticks?" And the Philistine cursed David by his gods. And the Philistine said to David, "Come to me, and I will give your flesh to the birds of the air and the beasts of the field!" Then David said to the Philistine, "You come to me with a sword, with a spear, and with a javelin. But I come to you in the name of the Lord of hosts, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied. This day the Lord will deliver you into my hand, and I will strike you and take your head from you. And this day I will give the carcasses of the camp of the Philistines to the birds of the air and the wild beasts of the earth, that all the earth may know that there is a God in Israel. Then all this assembly shall know that the Lord does not save with sword and spear; for the battle is the Lord's, and He will give you into our hands."
So it was, when the Philistine arose and came and drew near to meet David, that David hastened and ran toward the army to meet the Philistine. Then David put his hand in his bag and took out a stone; and he slung it and struck the Philistine in his forehead, so that the stone sank into his forehead, and he fell on his face to the earth. So David prevailed over the Philistine with a sling and a stone, and struck the Philistine and killed him. But there was no sword in the hand of David. Therefore David ran and stood over the Philistine, took his sword and drew it out of its sheath and killed him, and cut off his head with it. And when the Philistines saw that their champion was dead, they fled. Now the men of Israel and Judah arose and shouted, and pursued the Philistines as far as the entrance of the valley and to the gates of Ekron. And the wounded of the Philistines fell along the road to Shaaraim, even as far as Gath and Ekron. Then the children of Israel returned from chasing the Philistines, and they plundered their tents. And David took the head of the Philistine and brought it to Jerusalem, but he put his armor in his tent. When Saul saw David going out against the Philistine, he said to Abner, the commander of the army, "Abner, whose son is this youth?" And Abner said, "As your soul lives, O king, I do not know." So the king said, "Inquire whose son this young man is." Then, as David returned from the slaughter of the Philistine, Abner took him and brought him before Saul with the head of the Philistine in his hand. And Saul said to him, "Whose son are you, young man?" So David answered, "I am the son of your servant Jesse the Bethlehemite."

On the twenty-seventh day of August, I officially graduated from the Royal Melbourne Institute of Technology Bachelor of Business (Marketing).

Honestly, this 16 years of school days excluding pre-primary school have really past very quickly.

When I was in primary school, I remember seeing models on TV and magazines and I told myself that I will look like them one day. Tall, slim, beautiful and wearing gorgeous style of fashion. During those days, I was dying to have dogs at home and I dreamt of being a vet when I visited the Pet Clinic at Balestier Road when I brought my sick hamsters there. I also remember enjoying the swimming lessons at Toa Payoh Swimming Complex where I also got to challenge the guys with my athletic abilities. At that time, I only had 80 cents for allowance since MOM always came to school to buy lunch for me and fetch me home.

When I entered secondary school, I recall knowing people even before I joined the school. People in the entire school seem to know me and called me "Mr Tan daughter", even if I don't remember seeing them before or knowing them personally. Being in the same school as DAD, often put me in the spot where people doubted my ability and strength as they thought I had an upper hand to get certain positions in school. At this stage, I learned and faced issues such as security, self-image, confidence, loving others, compromising and accomodation etc etc etc.. Basically, it was a time to mature and think wisely. It was at this stage when there was a turning point in my life as I got to know my God.

When I entered junior college, I felt like I made a mistake but when I thought about the friends whom I came to know, I knew there was never an "opps!". This was the time when I challenged my physical, mental, spiritual strength as I pushed myself to the limit as I endured and persevere. I learned and faced issues like humulity, trust and betrayal, hypocrisy, team work etc etc etc..

When I entered university, I kept looking around me and felt that I could have done better as there are so many smart people around. Here, I learned and faced issues like honesty, giving, acceptance of various weaknesses, accomodating to different working style, maintaining a friendship, choosing and making new friends from none etc etc etc.

And on 27 August 2009, as I put on the graduation gown and the motar board, it marked the end of training and the start of real world application of everything you have learned when growing up for the past 23 years.

Tomorrow will be the start of a whole new chapter.

Monday, August 24

Bible verses to consider 2. @ 17:24

1 Corinthians 3:11-15
"For no other foundation can anyone lay than that which is laid, which is Jesus Christ. Now if anyone builds on this foundation with gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay, straw, each one's work will become clear; for the Day will declare it, because it will be revealed by fire; and the fire will test each one's work, of what sort it is. If anyone's work which he has built on it endures, he will receive a reward. If anyone's work is burned, he will suffer loss; but he himself will be saved, yet so as through fire."

Luke 6:43-49
"For a good tree does not bear bad fruit, nor does a bad tree bear good fruit. For every tree is known by its own fruit. For men do not gather figs from thorns, nor do they gather grapes from a bramble bush. A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart brings forth evil. For out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks. "But why do you call Me 'Lord, Lord,' and do not do the things which I say? Whoever comes to Me, and hears My sayings and does them, I will show you whom he is like: He is like a man building a house, who dug deep and laid the foundation on the rock. And when the flood arose, the stream beat vehemently against that house, and could not shake it, for it was founded on the rock. But he who heard and did nothing is like a man who built a house on the earth without a foundation, against which the stream beat vehemently; and immediately it fell. And the ruin of that house was great."

2 Corinthians 5:1-11
For we know that if our earthly house, this tent, is destroyed, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens. For in this we groan, earnestly desiring to be clothed with our habitation which is from heaven, if indeed, having been clothed, we shall not be found naked. For we who are in this tent groan, being burdened, not because we want to be unclothed, but further clothed, that mortality may be swallowed up by life. Now He who has prepared us for this very thing is God, who also has given us the Spirit as a guarantee. So we are always confident, knowing that while we are at home in the body we are absent from the Lord. For we walk by faith, not by sight. We are confident, yes, well pleased rather to be absent from the body and to be present with the Lord. Therefore we make it our aim, whether present or absent, to be well pleasing to Him. For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, that each one may receive the things done in the body, according to what he has done, whether good or bad. Knowing, therefore, the terror of the Lord, we persuade men; but we are well known to God, and I also trust are well known in your consciences.

Thursday, August 20

Bible verses to consider. @ 12:17

Romans 12:1-21
Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil. Cling to what is good. Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another; not lagging in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord; rejoicing in hope, patient in tribulation, continuing steadfastly in prayer; distributing to the needs of the saints, given to hospitality. Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep. Be of the same mind toward one another. Do not set your mind on high things, but associate with the humble. Do not be wise in your own opinion. Repay no one evil for evil. Have regard for good things in the sight of all men. If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men. Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, "Vengeance is Mine, I will repay," says the Lord. Therefore "If your enemy is hungry, feed him; If he is thirsty, give him a drink; For in so doing you will heap coals of fire on his head."Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good."

Psalms 25:8-21
"Good and upright is the Lord; therefore he instructs sinners in his ways. He guides the humble in what is right and teaches them his way. All the ways of the Lord are loving and faithful for those who keep the demands of his covenant. For the sake of your name, O Lord, forgive my iniquity, though it is great. Who, then, is the man that fears the Lord? He will instruct him in the way chosen for him. He will spend his days in prosperity, and his descendants will inherit the land. The Lord confides in those who fear him; he makes his covenant known to them.
My eyes are ever on the Lord, for only he will release my feet from the snare. Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted. The troubles of my heart have multiplied; free me from my anguish. Look upon my affliction and my distress and take away all my sins. See how my enemies have increased and how fiercely they hate me! Guard my life and rescue me; let me not be put to shame, for I take refuge in you. May integrity and uprightness protect me, because my hope is in you."

Wednesday, August 19

Mouth speaks of life and death! @ 13:23

One thing that I learn after such a long time of going in circles is WORDS HAVE POWER.

The words that leave your mouth or words that you think about has a power to bring either LIFE or DEATH to the thing you are speaking to or thinking about.

When God created the Heavens and the Earth, He SPOKE.

When God gave a promise never to send another great flood, He SPOKE quietly in His heart.

When Moses performed the miracles (parting the red sea), he SPOKE.

When the children of Isreal conquered the City of Jericho, they SHOUTED.

When the valley of dry bones rose up to form a mighty army, Ezekiel SPOKE.

When Jesus ended His journey here on Earth, He SPOKE "It is finished!"

"Death and life are in the power of the tongue, And those who love it will eat its fruit." - Proverbs 18:21

"The mouth of the righteous is a well of life, But violence covers the mouth of the wicked." - Proverbs 10:11

"So shall My word be that goes forth from My mouth; It shall not return to Me void, But it shall accomplish what I please, And it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it." - Isaiah 55:11

"I will put My Spirit in you, and you shall live, and I will place you in your own land. Then you shall that I, the Lord, have spoken it and performed it," says the Lord" - Ezekiel 37:14b

Even thoughts which are in a way words that you allow to speak to your mind and affect it, has power of life or death.

Therefore CHOOSE LIFE! Because it is always the WILL OF GOD to give life and life more abundantly! So start to confess the positive things and faith into yourself, your situation and into people whom you are working on!

"Enter by the narrow gate; for wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction, and there are many who go in by it. Because narrow is the gate and difficult is the way which leads to life, and there are few who find it." - Matthew 7:13-14

Also, you cannot speak in faith if you do not have the "substance" because "FAITH is the SUBSTANCE things HOPE FOR, EVIDENCE things NOT SEEN." And "FAITH comes by HEARING and HEARING THE WORD OF GOD."

Therefore, it must be something that God has spoken to you and from there you start to speak words of faith into your situation!

God speaks in 3 ways. People, His Word (the Bible) or to you personally (an impression).

Sunday, August 16

After a nap. My thoughts. @ 19:56

After a good nap just now, I really thought about myself and I got sick of being so negative and emotional because it really serves no purpose except to confirm that you are a failure and defeated.

I thought about the attitude and mindset I had in the past.

An attitude where "IMPOSSIBLE IS REALLY NOTHING". A mindset of an overcomer and nothing could be more difficult for my God.

I constantly held on to a VICTORY outlook on everything I do and I knew that everything will gonna be alright.

I considered about what I have become when I drowned myself into all those people issues and situations before me.

I must say, IT IS TIME TO STAND UP AND FIGHT. It is time to pick up that fight which I have long ago admit defeat. It is time to tell myself that God is real and NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE. NOTHING IS TOO DIFFICULT.

It is time to pick up my faith and challenge the fact/reality "IT IS TOO DIFFICULT".

It is time to once again believe in myself that I have what it takes to overcome and conquer.

It is time to give glory to God.

It is time to march around the walls of Jericho 7 times and at the 7th time, I'll give such a loud roar of victory and boldness that the WALLS WILL COME TUMBLING DOWN.

When you have nothing, there is nothing for you to lose in the Kingdom of God. So you have nothing to lose, and it is time to go on in that journey.

When I was younger, I had faith, a childlike faith.

When I was younger, I had positivity.

When I was younger, growing my group is NEVER AN ISSUE.

When I was younger, even when there are problems, I look up and find my back-ups.

When I was younger, I was surrounded by people who also sowed their youth to the Kingdom of God. People who also had a BIG CAPACITY.

When I was younger, there was no fear of losing anything because I had nothing.

When I was younger, I fought every war with my leader.

When I was younger, I simply believed and it happened.

Now that I have grew up, that attitude and mindset should still be the same. And it is time to find myself back to basics.

John 14:12-18
'"Most assuredly, I say to you, he who believes in Me, the works that I do he will do also; and greater works than these he will do, because I go to My Father.
And whatever you ask in My name, that I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son.
If you ask anything in My name, I will do it.
"If you love Me, keep My commandments.
And I will pray the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may abide with you forever
the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees Him nor knows Him; but you know Him, for He dwells with you and will be in you.
I will not leave you orphans; I will come to you."'

When is enough really enough?

I have enough of murmur and complaning.

I have enough of whinning.

I have enough of looking so much into the situation and forgotten that there is a journey that awaits.

I have enough of negativity that I have forgotten that it all depends on how you look at things.

I have enough of hoping for things to turn when I did not do anything about it.

I have enough of being that coward that is afraid to do a "greater" thing.

I have enough of wanting it my way and failed to realise that all this mess piled up because of me.

I have enough of backsliding without considering my actions.

I have enough of my irritating self.

I have enough of being defeated and giving glory to the devil.

I have enough of failures and being pushed around by others.

I have enough of all this! When I say it is enough, it meant IT IS REALLY ENOUGH!

I felt like I am like an emotional time bomb which was about to explode anytime as long as another matter is added into me.

Sometimes, I knew that this can only be leveled through love and acceptance from the people around me.

Last night, it was the first time I broke down in front of friends because of a build-up of everything that has happened. Didn't want that to happen because afterall, yesterday was meant to be a happy moment for many people. However, things just kept stacking and the frustrations kept increasing and it soon kept knocking violently on the door of my heart so as to release itself.

Understanding my own nature, I always take things to myself so as not to wreck up a big hoo-ha between friends. And probably this answered to why I felt that I can be stepped over often by friends who are more dominant than me because I always take a step back. Never really wanted to fight for my "rights".

Growing up in a family that has an environment which do not encourage one another to share their feelings and as the youngest child has instilled this mindset in me that there is no point of sharing or even fear in sharing how I truly felt. So I reserved things to myself which probably only MOM and God knows.

Sometimes, I knew that I should not take it personally, but I took it that way.

Sometimes, I wished I had the courage to say, but I didn't say it.

Sometimes, I thought others would know how to treat me as I thought what I needed is just the fundamental.

Sometimes, I did not want to face such things alone, but I was alone (with God though).

Sometimes, I wished that I have more options, but there was no other options.

Sometimes, I just hope that there is someone to protect me just as I protect some of the others, but he has not/did not show up.

And sometimes, when I say enough, it really meant ENOUGH.

But again, when is enough really enough?

When can we say we have shown enough grace and mercy? Or we should do this to eternity?

When should we say that this person cannot be my true friend and we draw the line?

When is it really because we are just too emotional rather than rational?

When is the solution truly obvious when we are too indulged into situations around us?

When is it alright to trust someone or you have not known this person well enough?

When is enough really enough when the same thing kept happening to you?

When is it alright to stand up for yourself but not being unreasonable, demanding or domineering?

Wednesday, August 12

Ironic truth. @ 14:07

Sometimes I think it is better not to be so close because you tend to experience the flaws of that person.

Honestly, not many things can be more hurting to me than lying or vending their frustrations on me. Since young, I experienced people transferring their frustrations, stress and pressure from work, school and friends to me which I felt I did not deserve such a treatment. So I'm rather sensitive to such issues.

And no one can hurt me more than those who are close to my heart, people who really knew me, people whom I really share things that are dear to me. Probably that answers why I only have a few of them that really understands me better.

So the worst case scenario can be people who are closest to me and they either lied or transfer whatever they are feeling to me so that they can feel better which really make me feel like a punching bag that is taken for granted, demeaned and put down.

It isn't an obligation to fulfil this duty because there was no need for such things to happen so as to make my friend feel better. But everyone has a value, everyone is precious so there shouldn't be any need to do that so that you can feel better or feel esteemed. At the end of the day, people will not enjoy your companion.

As friends, it should never be actions that come from a duty to fulfil instead it should come from love. Hence, if your friend do not feel loved, it would be difficult to love in return.

I talked to MOM about my friends. I also asked God about it.

At the end of the day, it is about finding the right friend. Some which I thought that they can be, ended up hurting me so much that I have to draw a line to it. Because what you allow to bother you, will affect you. The measure you allow it to affect you, will be the measure of hurt you will get.

Also, my self-worth cannot be determined by what my friends say, do or react. It is what I know about myself. It is what God sees in me and what He has put into me.

Psalms 139:7-16
"Where can I go from Your Spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence?
If I ascend into heaven, You are there; If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there.
If I take the wings of the morning, And dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
Even there Your hand shall lead me, And Your right hand shall hold me.
If I say, "Surely the darkness shall fall on me," Even the night shall be light about me;
Indeed, the darkness shall not hide from You, But the night shines as the day; The darkness and the light are both alike to You.
For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother's womb.
I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well.
My frame was not hidden from You, When I was made in secret, And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written, The days fashioned for me, When as yet there were none of them."

I have attended 2 morning prayer meetings so far!

For the past 2 morning prayer meetings, I have 2 other people with me because many could not wake up.

1 of them suggested to me to give morning call to the members. But I thought about the idea and decided to say that going for prayer meetings in the morning got to arise primarily from their willingness to go.

This willingness and strength that comes from the hunger for His presence, love, peace, joy and hope. The desperation to hear His voice and know His will for us that we may take the right path for His Word shall be a light unto our path.

A prayer meeting is basically a time to seek God's face, a time to sow your treasure into this important and precious relationship.

Because your heart is there.

"A Psalm of David when he was in the wilderness of Judah. O God, You are my God; Early will I seek You; My soul thirsts for You; My flesh longs for You In a dry and thirsty land Where there is no water. So I have looked for You in the sanctuary, To see Your power and Your glory."
Psalms 63:1-2

Monday, August 10

Swimming on a Sunday afternoon. @ 21:47

After QXW's matrimony at The Art House yesterday, LM LW PY Ken and I went over to Bugis village to get some fake eyelashes because we wanted to put it on during the wedding dinner which was at Orchard Parade Hotel in the night at 7.30pm.

After which, PY, Ken and I proceeded to my house then Ken's house and lastly PY's house to pick up our swimming stuff and we went to Yuan Tai's condo at Serangoon to swim. I have always enjoyed swimming in condo pools because of the serenity and privacy that public pools can never stand to provide.

We put on our swim wear and jumped into the pool and did our laps.

While I was swimming, I was wondering about certain issues that I find it hard-going to go through and difficult to breakthrough. I wondered was it really necessary to go through all this, I considered that I have to count the cost. But I have already started the race and it was too late to say that the cost is too much because the building process has already begun long time ago.

I remembered the days when I was still young and had swimming lessons and my JC days when I trained really hard to be the best female pair Kayaker in school and to represent my school at the national level.

To excel in swimming and kayaking, I really had to set aside time and make certain sacrifices to master the sports and to be the best in the team. Nevertheless, I also had to constantly upgrade my skills and push myself to the limits to enlarge my capacity to break my own time record. This meant I had to gnash my teeth and go through the hard ship of trainings upon trainings which pushed to expand the threshold of my muscles, lungs and heart.

When it comes to the competition day, I would have to conserve enough energy but warm-up was also necessary at the same time. Anxiety, pressure and stress would build up as many would look forward to expect certain performance as they place their hopes on their best trump cards. It would reach it's maximum level when I am at the starting point, staring at the finish point where your friends and supporters are there to celebrate the success or to share the load of disappointment.

As I remembered the experiences of being in a sports team, I asked myself if it was really all worth it to go through this tough and trying times. It is easy to encourage others to keep on keeping on but when you are in such a situation yourself, you knew that it wasn't as easy as saying an encouragement and you would constantly ask yourself if it was all worth it.

I knew that in order to love Him more and more each day and to know His very heartbeat, I would have to go through all these trainings as He would teach me how to draw nearer; and learn patience and perseverance.

When the test comes, pressure, stress and anxiety will come as you go through it and waited for the results to come to past. However, through all the "trainings" you had before the test, you knew that everything would be alright because He has prepared you for such a time like this.

If you want to be "successful" or excel as a servant, son and king, you must be willing to set aside time and make sacrifices for "training".

Just like the man who has obeyed every commandment that God has given to the Children of Isreal through Moses, he lacked 1 thing - AVAILABILITY.

"Jesus said to him, "If you want to be perfect, go, sell what you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me." But when the young man heard that saying, he went away sorrowful, for he had great possessions." - Matthew 19:21-22

Yesterday, I went for QXW's matrimony in the morning!

Honestly, I think every bride deserves to be really pretty on their wedding day.

She looks extremely beautiful on that very day which she put on the flourishing glamourous white wedding gown and covered her head with a veil that is simply decorated with laces. That very day when her groom went to pick her up from her house and worked dilligently hard to qualify to enter into her house to meet his beloved. That very day when she walked down the aisles and everybody cheered loudly on this joyous day. That very day when her dad gave her hand to the groom and when he lifted the veil to kiss his bride.

Every girl would have dreamt to have such a day in their life where they can bookmark such a grand and meaningful moment.

During the wedding dinner, Lydia did a video of what happened during the "gate crashing" in the morning. I must really admit that it is a unique way of presenting every moment, words and people that are important to the newly wed couple.

Thursday, August 6

Random Thursday... @ 23:21

OH MAN!! I just broke the bottle handphone hanging that DY bought from KL the other time. AIYO. My room has the flowery fragrant from the oil that was contained in the bottle! Now I'm left with the 3 beads that was originally sealed in the bottle. T_T"" *DY please don't kill me, I still need to catch "UP" with you tomorrow unless you want my Spirit to be there instead. WUAHAHAHAHA.*

Last night, I watched "Coming Soon" with MOM because it was HIGHLY RECOMMENDED by Edmundo. HAIYO. Honestly, it is not really scary but the scene of the woman being hanged kept running through my mind. WHY has it left an imprint in my mind? Because the entire show is about that scene! Oh man. I woke up at 6.30am and gave up trying to sleep as I kept thinking about it. So I went to pray for at least 1 hour. Then I went back to sleep. *Tormenting*

What is going on in my life??

Firstly, I will be starting work very soon, either mid August or end August. My work place will be at the Great World City office tower. And I will be getting $????. I have been stocking up my "Uniforms" for work - Tops, Dresses, Pants, Capri, Outerwear, Accessories, a Tocco Bag. And I have mixed feelings about having to start work. Because I will lesser time for friends, mom and myself, but on the other hand, when I work, it is productive and produces fruits.

Secondly, through saving up from the pay I get from this job, I am aiming to go Australia in May 2010 and Hong Kong Taiwan in July/August 2010 probably with DY. It has always been my dream to backpack and travel around places. Places that I have been to: Malaysia - Johor Bahru, Kuala Lumpur, Malacca, Perhentian Island, Kelantan; Thailand - Phuket, Bangkok; China - DongGuan, ShenZhen; Korea - Seoul.

Thirdly, my Convocation which will be held on 27 August, Thursday, 10am to 12.30pm, marks the beginning of a new chapter of my life as I officially finish my journey as a student. So if you want to share the joy with me by coming, do let me know. Yeah? HAHA. But come only around 12pm because each ticket cost $16 which is subjected to approval and you need that ticket to attend the Ceremony. T_T""

Fourth, E399 is growing. From a small number of 7 that we started from, we have 11 core members now. YaoWen Christine Michael Ivan Brandan Alvin Kitty HuiMei Alyscia SweeRon and lastly ME. However, this is not enough because I know that everyone in E399 has a greater potential to contain a greater growth. Shall be planning ahead and setting targets once again since church gave us the year planner to inform us about the activities in advance, it would be easier to visualize ahead. Well, the remaining and most important to do are to reach up and reach out. =)

Fifth, Church's 20th Anniversary Celebration was just over! I have been in this church since year 2001 November, almost 8 years already but it felt like it was just 2 years ago since I joined church. HAHA. But it was really an honor to see church grew from 10,000 to 20,000++. Great to feel belonged to this church. Well, as promised, Pastor gave us the crystal block which has the detailed prototype of the church building that we will be having in the near future!

Next, I just tightened my braces on Tuesday. Apparently the Orthodontist changed my wire to a thicker one. I think I heard 4.25mm. It is really doing its job as I start to see the gap between my 3 & 5 closing.

Lastly, I'll be catching "UP" with DY tomorrow. Time, Venue still not sure.

It's been a long time since I updated my blog!!

Well, it’s simple.

Firstly, I needed people to have a look at my wardrobe sales before posting new posts.

Secondly, I guess I was just spiritually dry and had no fresh word to say or no motivation to describe my day.

So now, I’m writing again.

Newest word to me is this old saying which Pastor has said so many times that we took it for granted:

“Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” - Matthew 6:21

“Treasure” meant many different things to many people but to me it meant “TIME & MONEY”. Out of this 2, TIME is the most important to me. If you realise, whoever that I sowed much time into, I’ll tend to be closer to them because 1 of my love language is quality time. For me, spending more time together just bridges the gap of the “unknown” and removes the uncomfortable or awkward feeling.

We all know that there are certain groups of people that should be closer to you by being there and knowing you better while there are some that are not suppose to be so close or not meant to be. However, the ironic thing for my life is there is a group that should be close such that we pour our treasure into it, I felt uncomfortable, awkward with most of the people. There is another group that I should not be fellowshipping so close with ended up to be the people that make me feel comfortable and accepted; and understands me better.

Still, at the end of the day, I thank God for putting people who will always be here and near to me. People such as my cell group people who fought the hard going battle for the past 1 year (YW QX Mic Ivan Kitty Bra), The Gang (LW PY Lest), the Uni friends (DY ZW Hen YH Cind ED) and the most important people in my life till now, my PARENTS.

Many people will agree with me that issues of security such as feeling accepted and assured is as important as finding meaning in life. However, thinking back, I think we do not need many people to be so close to us to feel accepted or assured. At least to me, I know there will always be people whom I can fall back to, just as they can count on me to fall back on. Having this few close people is enough.

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