Life is like a TV show

What have I done? What am I doing? What am I going to do?

I believe life should be more than this. Walk with God shouldn't be thats all. But I feel kindof lost.

I need to see what You see. I need to be filled again. I dont feel satisfied at this moment. Neither do I enjoy what I'm doing. Dislike the stress/competition I feel/face everyday. I dislike dragging my feet to work, doing things for the sake of doing. Starting every week just to hope that the weekends are here. I dont cherish the 9hours at work, cant wait to end or leave.

Seriously, this is not what I want to do definitely. Time is precious, every second should count, I should be happy and joyful, I should be able to see that I gain something every second.

If this is part of the journey to bring me higher then show me a bigger picture. Tell me what should I look forward to. Guide me what to look out for. Teach me how to move and advance. Give me a vision to be written on the tablet.

Who can I confide to? Who can I gain wisdom and understanding from? Who can help me to change the way I see or think? Which peer or is there any mentor?

A revelation was given just before I reached Mabel’s house to practice and lead worship for cell group. Daniel 3 – The story of King Nebuchadnezzar and the 3 men being Meshach, Shadrach and Abednego

King Nebuchadnezzar made a golden image which everyone must bow down to worship when the music was played. But the 3 men refused and stood firm to worship no other gods except God. Out of anger, King Nebuchadnezzar ordered people to make the fiery furnace 7 times hotter than the usual and threw the 3 men into it. Anyone who came near the furnace died because of the extreme heat. The 3 men survived the heat and found a certain other man with them who looked like the Son of God.

Often, when we go through what we deem as hell on earth, we pray and fast for a miracle, for hell to feel more heavenly. Sometimes God doesn’t work this way. Instead of taking away the heat or making it smaller, He allows us to go through it but we're never alone as His promises will stay true. “He will never leave us nor forsake us.”

Sometimes, we ask ourselves “Why the need to go through this hardship? Why put ourselves in this position to feel aggrieved? Why glorifying God has to go through so much more than others?” As much as a simple answer “We love God and God loves us” satisfies these doubts, another answer would be “to walk alongside with God.”

In the presence of heat, God will never leave us and He will walk alongside with us. He will make sure no evil or harm will ever fall on us as He protects us from the crown of our head to the sole of our feet. And He will make sure we come out of the heat victorious and strong which brings glory to Himself.

Ian shared what Dr Robi said - the understanding and experience of God’s goodness and love for us will be the foundation of how we react during adversity and tragedy. So true. No one can help you experience God’s goodness and love except for you to experience it yourself. And no one can take it away.

Walking in the fiery furnace demonstrates God’s love for us. He will not let us go through it ourselves and He will feel how we feel. As much as character instead of comfort is concern, it is vital to go through fire. So you don’t have to look down and see the small details, instead look up and view the full picture.

Ephesians 3:19
"and to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge, that you might be filled with all the fullness of God."

Speechless because I have no idea what to say.

Silence is the best cover now.

Sometimes we keep wanting to take and forgot to give.

"God, I need a miracle." "God, I need a breakthrough." "God, I need a career and be successful in it." "God, I need Your grace and anointing to lead in this ministry." "God, I need..."

What the bible says is true "Ask and you shall receive, seek and you will find, knock and it shall be open unto you."

But I just thought about it that relationship with God is like a relationship with a lover. And as much as relationship is concern there will always be a give and take action with love.

I wonder what could I give.

I slept 9 hours straight today and woke up pretty late for work. 9 hours to make up for the previous few nights.

I wonder whats on my mind. I think I know quite clearly.

I need boldness, faith and courage.

I realise that the childlike faith which I used to have has been missing since a long time ago. I need a revelation on who He is not what is ahead. I need a reminder.

豹子胆和信心跑去哪了?

Remember again, the impossible is "I am possible." Time to exercise that faith once more.

I remember those times when others brought 3 friends, I had faith for 10 and 12 came. Those were the times. If God can do it last time, God can do a miracle again.

Time to believe that NOTHING is impossible to those who believe. Because You are God, the Author and Finisher of our faith, the Alpha & Omega, the King of kings and Lord of all lords, the omnipotent God, the God who helped the children of Israel cross the red sea, the God who rescued Daniel from the lions' den, the God who walked in the fire with the 3 men.

Yes, this is my God.

I tear when I thought about the times I wanted that breakthrough so much instead of going through 1 test after another. I tear when I thought about the why and whether I had a problem.

Dr Robi dealt with these issue which I believe many will face too. It brought truth which sets us free. Most important is the basic thing of bringing God's love back into each life again so that healing can happen.

I tried to figure a reason to things and could never find one. I thought I used the wrong method or maybe I did something wrong. I thought it is a test which I kept failing in and cant seem to breakthrough.

But truth sets in.

"Its not how you pray that matters, its who you pray to."

"If a son asks for bread from any father among you, will he give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will he give him a serpent instead of a fish? Or if he asks for an egg, will he offer him a scorpion? If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him!" - Luke 11:11-13

Dr Robi said something which we always need to be reminded. Dont ask the wrong questions. Dont ask "why" but "who".

Have faith in who He is that He is able.

I'm a procratinator.

I set my alarm an hour earlier so that I could snooze it at least 4 times before I really get out bed.

It reveals how I deal with matters in life. I procrastinate.

Bad. Discipline is the key to success.

Fear creeps in quickly without a warning.

The incident created some sort of fear as to what he might do.

But God reminded me during worship in choir practise yesterday - remember my stars (promises) that He has given throughout my walk with Him.

"When I'm weak He is strong."

I did my quiet time today and pray about this too. I needed to overcome the fear in me in order to face it tomorrow.

I was praying and it all went quiet. Suddenly there were a few images that creates fear appeared in a vision, I could feel like I was facing them myself and I was fearful. Until a sudden empowerment from the Spirit, a certain boldness and courage came and I was rebuking it. And I recalled the promises from God -

"If God is for me, who can be against me?"

"He who is in me is greater than He who is in the world."

"No weapon formed against me shall prosper."


Its also been some time since I spend some time in the Spirit and with the Spirit. I felt the distance and I was reminded -

"When I take a step towards God, He will take a thousand step towards you."

Its so much easier to be joyful and happy now. The thinking changes so does the feeling hence the action. I always like it this way.

Thank God for healing to the soul. I believe I'm not the only one.

Dr Robi shared a word which is repeatedly preached to us all the time.

As live goes by, we assume more responsibilities and burden increases where our mind is cluttered with various issues and concerns. Career, family, relationships, ministry, friends and many more. We forgot the things we used to remind ourselves daily.

Purpose of living is about others not about me, I and myself.

How much do you mean to God? You are worth so much to Him that He sent His only Son to die for you. You are worth so so so much.

Immediately, I wept. The Holy Spirit reveals and I didnt know this hurt has actually caused more damage than I thought. This hurt has shaken my self-worth hence damaging my self-confidence which affected my ability to recognise and fulfil my purpose.

I was not able to show compassion, kindness, gentleness, humility and patience to the ones who need it. And I kept thinking about myself with 1 objective - to protect myself.

Truth surfaces and I had to deal with it. Love will cover a multitude of sins - God's love. Thank God for understanding and knowledge.

I shared with a friend (simply reminded myself) - God will never give you something you cannot bear.

I still cannot come to terms with the fact that my love ones or people who are close enough will leave one day. I dont know how to describe the feeling of not being able to see them again. This include my dogs.

Reasons can be due to old age, sickness, accidents or mysterious death.

It reveals how fragile and short life can be when my friend's dad passed away suddenly few weeks ago.

Dad came home and shared about granny's condition and I teared. She might go anytime. Although I'm not close to her, there're still many reasons not wanting her to go.

Death is the end of the last chapter as well as a conclusion of what this person has achieved, how has this person been and the lives that he/she has impacted. There will be no more chances given to rewrite the journey travelled, for amendments to be made, to change a decision or restore relationships. Nothing more can be done. Its the end.

Treasure your life, choose wisely to live it to the fullest where every second counts in every way; as well as forgive and restore relationships which you cherish quickly.