Life is like a TV show

I think I'm not up to it but You say I can.

I think I'm not good enough to do what I am doing and will eventually do but You said I will make it.

I think You have chosen the wrong person because I don't think I fit the criteria of that person but You said

"I have chosen you even before you were born, even before you know about Me, much much even before you made any mistakes and think that you don't qualify or has the capability to take on the 'job'. I have chosen you and called you by name. And I believe You can make it because I am never wrong."

With that, I wept.

And I said "But i seriously have no idea how." And He said "Thats why I sent your best Friend to help you all these times. The Holy Spirit will guide you and teach you the things you need to know. So what's your decision."


"Here I am, send me."

I saw that little girl who once dances before the Father.

But the girl will not remain young forever, she grows older and older each day to a youth and eventually an adult.

And I knew what He meant instantly. I have moved on and grown out of the stage as a little girl.

"When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things." - 1 Cor 13:11

I need to get out of the mindset of a little girl. I need to learn and understand the mature things. I need to dig deeper and have greater capacity for the deep things. I need to grow to the next level. I need to behave as such.

I do not want to survive but I want to succeed here.

I do not just want to maintain but I want to grow.

"For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many." - Mark 10:45

'While He was still speaking, some came from the ruler of the synagogue's house who said, "Your daughter is dead. Why trouble the Teacher any further?"

As soon as Jesus heard the word that was spoken, He said to the ruler of the synagogue, "Do not be afraid; only believe."' - Mark 5:35-36

Many will tell you the reality that surrounds you, they will remind you about the obvious, what you see right now. But Jesus says "Do not be afraid; only believe."

What are your dreams which seems too far away to begin with? What are the situations that you need a miracle to happen?

"Do not be afraid; only believe."

I was doing my quiet time and God revealed a few things to me.

First I had to repair the altar of sacrifice, the altar of worship. I needed to go back and find the secret place where I always go and find Him there all the time. It is a place where I will see Him face to face and fellowship together. It is a place where we exchange our thoughts, where I start to know His character and the deep things of God. It is a place of rest, where I know my soul will be satisfied and recharged. It is a secret place where I find through worship and prayer.

As I worship, the Holy Spirit revealed to me Jesus has passed me by many times but did not stop to fellowship with me. The second thing which I need to restore is our fellowship. This time, when Jesus passes by, I do not want to miss it.

Then, the Holy Spirit started to give me the overview that many things seem to start crumbling when I removed my braces on Tuesday. There seem to be an attack after that, a start of a warfare which I sense since Wednesday. Somehow I felt that it is the start of the next level to bring me closer to the vision that was set in my heart. I don’t really know what is laid for the future but what I do need is to know the heart of God. Somehow I know that I had to do what is required to stay close to Him and be sensitive to His voice so that nothing will be impossible for me.

"Because of your unbelief; for assuredly, I say to you, if you have faith like a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move; and nothing will be impossible for you. However, this kind does not go out except by prayer and fasting." - Matthew 17:19-21

And with that, this verse came across.
‘But as it is written: "Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, Nor have entered into the heart of man The things which God has prepared for those who love Him." But God has revealed them to us through His Spirit. For the Spirit searches all things, yes, the deep things of God.’ – 1 Corinthians 2:9-10

The thought I'm having now is what have I done that everything seems to go haywire.

Nothing seems to be going smooth for me. Like what my friend said recently, everything seems to be crumbling down together. Hard pressed on every side.

As much as I would want to think it as a test, I'm also wondering if I can make it through.

As much as I would want to be strong and carry on, I really want to breakdown and take a break.

"The Spirit is indeed willing but the flesh is weak."

"We are hard pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down but not destroyed-" - 2 Cor 4:8-9

Through Matthew, you understands how the kingdom of Heaven functions.

What are its principles and values, what are the fruits and characters which it permits, what are the mindsets, what are the boundaries which we ought not to over step - the boundaries between lawlessness and religiousity, what are the good which we should do that Would please God.

There are so many that I can't list them down now.

Jesus said the greatest and first commandment is to love God with all our heart, mind and soul. The second is to love our neighbours as ourselves.

And another thing is He expects us to grow in everything.

Reality of the world.

People don't remember what you have done right but they remember what you have done wrong.

People don't remember what you done but they remember what you have not done.

'Then the disciples came to Jesus privately and said, "Why could we not cast it out?"

So Jesus said to them, "Because of your unbelief; for assuredly, I say to you, if you have faith like a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move; and nothing will be impossible for you.

"However, this kind does not go out except by prayer and fasting." - Matthew 17:19-21

We used to think that as long as we believe everything is possible. But we did not read the next verse that for anything to be possible, it comes through prayer and fasting.

'Faith comes by hearing and hearing the Word of God.'

My life now is like what the bible says in Matthew 14:28-32.

'And Peter answered Him and said, "Lord, if it is You, command me to come to You on the water."

So He said, "Come." And when Peter had come down out of the boat, he walked on the water to go to Jesus.

But when he saw that the wind was boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink he cried out, saying "Lord, save me!"

And immediately Jesus stretched out His hand and caught him, and said to him, "O you of little faith, why did you doubt?"

And when they got into the boat, the wind ceased.'

To me, the boat signifies my comfort zone where everything is safe and expected. Walking on water signifies the journey of the vision given, walking with Jesus. The wind which was boisterous signifies the situations in life that can seem serious and big.

Yesterday, as I was praying, the Holy Spirit reminded me about what I used to tell my members. Who/what is bigger? God or your situation? If God is bigger, then why do you worry about your situation as God is always in control? If situation is bigger, then why worship and call Him God?

Faith on His character, power & ability.

I was looking for balance and the boundary between the world and the kingdom of Heaven. I was looking for the thin line as to keep holiness while being relevant to the world.

Like what Jesus implies: we are in the world but not of the world.

There are many principles to be refined while walking the journey towards a successful career.

Jesus mentioned 3 times in Matthew 6 "...hypocrites...that they may be seen by men...your Father who sees in secret will Himself reward you openly."

It is this lingering thought whether work done is seen by people. While I think that people sees what others are doing and permits it, I wondered if it goes the same for me. I wondered if people know what others are doing.

Today, God says it doesn't matter whether people see or not, because what matters is God sees and blesses what you are doing. When He sees and approves what you are doing, He will never short change you. He will reward you openly.

"My grace is sufficient for you..."

When much is given, much is expected.

The DNA which I got from my spiritual family is a distinct trait which I think is an important trait to be successful in life. The mindset, values and principles, the expectation, the excellence of work, the way things are done etc are very much influenced by this DNA that we have. As much as this is concern, there is quite an expectation placed on us.

One thing which I realised Singaporeans to have, even myself; we tend to sit back, complain that things are not working as its supposed to be and wait for a solution to drop from Heaven. Conscious of this very fact, I try to offer solutions rather than being the problem. I try to be prepared, think further and initiate rather than to wait till something happens to think about how to solve it. I try to look far, plan further and foresee the future rather than looking at the past or the present. I try to go an extra mile and complete everything nicely rather than do what is instructed.

With that, there are much expectations placed on us to do it well. Once in a while, I had to remind myself and those around that I am not a god but I will just do what I can. Sometimes, being human, I started comparing myself with the rest and wondered why am I doing so much more.

Is it worth it?

"Finally then, brethren, we urge and exhort in the Lord Jesus that you should abound more and more, just as you received from us how you ought to walk and to please God;" - 1 Thessalonians 4:1

It has been some time since I updated my blog. I guess there were many things on my mind so it was difficult to focus and write it down.

Yesterday, as I was going home from Marina Square, I thought to myself about truth, lies and people. It is always so difficult to keep a lie because it can never be consistent. Unlike lies, truth will never change.

I thought about the people whom I find some contradictions in their values towards work. What I could figure out the reason behind the contradictions is because it is not the true values which they practice. People say it out loud not because they really have such values. Instead it is more like agreeing with the social norms to keep up a certain image and maintain the impression others have on them.

I asked a question "what for?". Lies can never last. They will be busted one day and people will find out. Lies can be tiring to keep because it is never consistent. All of us have different answers to that question and I think we are all aware of it. Yet, people still practice it.