Life is like a TV show

Psa 133
A Song of degrees; of David. Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brothers to dwell together in unity!

2 It is like the precious ointment on the head that ran down on the beard, Aaron's beard, that went down to the mouth of his garments;

3 like the dew of Hermon that came down on the mountains of Zion; for there the LORD commanded the blessing, life forevermore.

Pst Paul Scanlon preached about winter is over, spring has come. He shared about being beaten to the ground like a wrestling match, the devil starts counting to 10 (10 means we are defeated and lost the match). Before it reached 10, you will lift your shoulder so that he will have to reount again.

You do this until you start to lift your body up from the ground. You keep trying and looking forward until you are up again; you have no idea how you did but you did it by the grace of God.

There is a shift in the season but you will never know when is the first day of spring because it happens under the snow from the winter.

It was winter, you sense a change in the season and you are ready for spring to sow into this season. You are out of winter, remove the layers (protection), get ready for spring (doing a new thing) and have a different language for spring (speaking ahead than from the past). Your thinking, words, vision changes.

When you dress for spring and it is the very early of spring, you look out of place because the rest are still dressed for winter.

God is preparing His team for spring and He has already called us. Some of us already know that He has called and given the vision. It may not come from the leadership instead from the crowd rising up to the occassion.

And you know who you are.


I was astonished, dumbfounded or whatever adjective is it to describe what was going on in me as he was preaching last night. I was tearing at my seat because everything, EVERYTHING that he has described related to me but the difference was he could add language to what I sense.

Since last week, when Dr Cho shared "without a vision, the people will perish." I wanted to make a change. On Tuesday, I started to have visions and word from God to meet various ones and I did that before service yesterday (before he shared what he shared). Wednesday during choir worship, I really wanted Him to speak to me, instead He spoke last night.

Today, Pst Paul Scanlon shared about the growth environment. God has picked out a few people and they have left their comfort zone into an uncomfortable or out of their depth environment, inconvenient, not easy etc. In the growth environment, we are in the midst of people who doesnt like us, dont get us, misunderstood our motive and intentions. Same sentiments again.

It is a rhema word; a divine understanding for the situation now and forward.


During the service last night, the Holy Spirit reminded me not to allow past successes, experiences, visions and revelations to control my future neither use them for my future. Because the future is new using new revelation which will be given, new experiences will be formed, new successes will be achieved. Dont allow the past to limit your future because we are going from glory to glory, strength to strength. So the past is NOT the ceiling, its not the highest point we can go now, we will go even higher.

This is not a coincidence. Once again, You are reaffirming my faith, confidence and decision as well as reassuring that I am at the right track.

1. God commanding Joshua (the next leader after Moses has passed away)
Joshua 1:3-9
This was shared by 1 of the band member from ALM before they ended the worship night yesterday.

These verses was given when I was a leader facing no growth in the cell group for a year and more. It has always encouraged me not to be fearful but be bold and courageous in this walk, to keep believing because God has commanded.

2. Valley of dry bones
Ezekiel 37:3-14
This was shared by Pst Tan this morning during woship. And I shared the very same things with Alvin and Yaowen.

Dead dreams can come alive again. And once again, we will move on from here although we do not know what has been laid ahead, we will just take a step and go.

Luke 5:36-39
36 And He also spoke a parable to them: No one puts a piece of a new garment on an old garment. Otherwise, both the new will tear, and the old does not match the piece from the new. 37 And no one puts new wine into old wineskins. Else the new wine will burst the wineskins and be spilled, and the wineskin will perish. 38 But new wine must be put into new wineskins, and both are preserved together. 39 Also no one having drunk old wine immediately desires new, for he says, The old is better.

Winter to spring. You need to change your clothing an take off the multiple layers of clothing. The things that you say, do, think and see should change.

No one will inform you as the farmer that spring is here. Instead you got to know and sense the season changing by putting away what you know, distractions around and tune in to the special calling and voice given to you. If you dont sense the change of season, it can pass you by!

Knowing it is spring is not enough instead you need to participate in it and sow into that season.

In spring time, things happen faster than winter.

Listen, obey, trust, pray and believe.

I remembered most of my weaknesses but forsake my strengths.

As I was on my way to office, I was praying and the Holy Spirit came and reminded me. I am good at visualizing as visuals are the most effective way for me to comprehend or remember well. I recalled when I was studying, the fastest way to absorb the overview of things is using the mind map as a summary of everything I have studied. Every point should link together and form a picture or story.

The Holy Spirit reminded me "You are good at visualizing. Use your visualization to make miracles happen. So what do you want to have? Visualize it."

I felt like I have forgotten many things when stepped down from the leadership. It was like returning everything that I have learnt or experience to the Teacher. I always believe that when we pray and visualize the things that God has given the 'go ahead, it will happen' approval, it will definitely come to past. And how do you know that He has given the green light? It is through His peace, through praying, through worshipping, through the rhema word which was given and sometimes it is through people.

It doesn't matter about what others say about it or how crazy it may seem or how impossible it can be, it will by no means happen. Because the things which He has said will never return to Him void. However, it requires our faith and constant perseverance to keep believing that it will happen. And we do that by rememebering the vision or rhema word that He has given and keep visualizing.

I remember "If you can see it, you can have it." Keep believing. Keep visualizing.

I'm madly in love with You, Jesus.

Let me be a fool for You once again.

You know the condition of my heart and You have provided the way.

Without a vision, the people will perish. Show me exactly the destination as well as the steps to take.

Forsaking all things, I follow You.

Understand what these means:

1 Samuel 15:22
And Samuel said, Does the LORD delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices as in obeying the voice of the LORD? Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice! To listen is better than the fat of rams!

1 Samuel 16:7
But the LORD said to Samuel, Do not look on his face, nor on his height, because I have refused him. For He does not see as man sees. For man looks on the outward appearance, but the LORD looks on the heart.

I asked myself how am I going to connect with people when I feel I dont know much like a frog in a well?!

And the Holy Spirit reminded me about king David.

When Samuel through God's instructions chose David to be the next king, David only knew how to be a shepherd, loves God a lot and nothing else. As he go on and eventually became a king, he was exposed to the system, culture and things of the world, he had to learn and apply quickly.

How did he do that? Wasnt it God? His grace is sufficient.

He related king David to me. A year plus ago, I only knew how to be a cell group leader leading youths to God and loves God a lot. Now, I changed my primary ministry like king David, to the marketplace. What God did for king David, God is able to do it for me for His glory.

So its ok to be like king David, its ok to be yourself.

I picked up the guitar and started plucking a tune.

The Holy Spirit came and kept me company on my right side. With His company, I sat there weeping while plucking my guitar. I just had to get it all out. And He wept along.

I saw a vision of a familiar place - I was sitting on a patch of grassland looking at the sun, sky and the beautiful grassland. It was peaceful, a place of rest. I felt a familiar presence. O how much I miss You, Abba Father! I remembered about the joy I had last time. I saw a vision of the little girl dancing before the Father. This time, I broke down in tears. I miss that joy that I used to have when I meet my Father in Heaven. I miss my Father who is my hiding place. I sat there plucking the guitar, not saying a word, crying as I saw the vision.

And I saw Jesus praying for me. He sees every situation I was in, the mind, the Spirit and realities of the world. He is praying for me and looking out for me. There was an assurance that I was not alone, everything will turn out fine and I'm covered with Jesus's prayers.

I cried and cried, didn't know what to say or what to ask for.

And the Lord showed me -

He was accused falsely, judged and took the blame of what He did not do. The High Priest understands what I am feeling right now as I felt others have misunderstood me hence having a wrong perception or impression. The feeling of being misunderstood wasnt nice. But Jesus went through all these in a greater measure as compared to me so that I can be free from all these. Just as Jesus suffered to bring us salvation, we suffer to bring God glory.

During worship in service yesterday, the Holy Spirit reminded me that the only Person that we ought to please is God and no one else because we live for Him alone. So it doesn't matter what others can say about us or our situation, what matters is what He says about us and our situation. Period.

Another thing He addressed is my career. I have seen where I would be going, that dream has been written on my heart from that time. He showed me that every emotional obstacles that I'm going through now will make me stronger. I have to admit that my weakness is my identity and the feeling of inadequacy. I fall into this emotional trap that I'm not good enough, I'm not the best for this role, I'm insecured, I'm incapable, I dont have what it takes to do this etc easily. So He has to drill a strong identity of who I am, what I can actually do that I am much better than what I think I am and confidence in me. So I had to go through and overcome all these emotional barriers and cycle.

Last but not least, relationship. Trust and patience is tested here. 8 years ago, a promise was given. Will I still
believe that it will come to past?

Keep believing.

God is still writing my love story...

"Take time out from your busy schedule and just breathe with God." - Pastor Kong Hee

Breathe with God...

Its been almost a year and a half.

I wonder why it seems like a more difficult journey, a more depressed one since I changed my primary ministry.

Its such a long time ago that I felt so depressed during my primary school days and now I get depressed often and easily like yesterday that this morning I woke up and told myself that its time to go back into the House of God.

As much as my flesh is weak, I struggled to get out of bed and make my way to Suntec for service.

You reminded me about that time when I was depressed and You brought me out of it into a place of joy. You showed me a place where we can experience true joy, peace and freedom truly existed. Since then, I have always chose to be joyful only till recently. You reminded me that I need to come back to the very place where I got out of it, in the House of God, in the place of rest, in our secret place.

I went through negative thoughts any other time in the past and I'm thinking why was it easier to get out of it last time? I guess I had a strong circle of friends, friends who might not know how else to help but pray and support me by standing with me, trusting in me, walking with me. But since the disbanment, that circle was lost and I was standing alone just as it is for the rest.

Without the existence of a mentor like who I had when I was rising up as a leader, without friends like those I had when I was a leader, it was easier to sink in. And its these times when all the more I need to pray and get into the House of God.

I pray that You will bring the right people into my life.