Life is like a TV show

Monday, November 23

Gotta be Somebody by Nickelback @ 13:37

A song that relates.

Gotta be Somebody by Nickelback

This time, I wonder what it feels like
To find the one in this life, the one we all dream of
But dreams just aren't enough
So I'll be waiting for the real thing, I'll know it by the feeling
The moment when we're meeting, will play out like a scene
Straight off the silver screen
So I'll be holding my own breath, right up 'til the end
Until that moment when, I find the one that I'll spend forever with

Cause nobody wants to be the last one there
Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares
Someone to love with my life in their hands
There's gotta be somebody for me like that
Cause nobody wants to do it all on their own
And everyone wants to know the night alone
There's somebody else that feels the same somewhere
There's gotta be somebody for me out there

Tonight, out on the street, out in the moonlight
And dammit this means too right, it's just like deja vu
Me standing here with you
So I'll be holding my own breath, could this be the end
Is it that moment when, I find the one that I'll spend forever with

Cause nobody wants to be the last one there
Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares
Someone to love with my life in their hands
There's gotta be somebody for me like that
Cause nobody wants to do it all on their own
And everyone wants to know the night alone
There's somebody else that feels the same somewhere
There's gotta be somebody for me out there

You can't give up, looking for a (diamond did erupts?)
The wind shows up, make sure you're holding on
Cause it could be the one, the one you're waiting on
Cause nobody wants to be the last one there
And everyone wants to feel like someone cares
Someone to love with my life in their hands
There's gotta be somebody for me, oh

Nobody wants to do it all on their own
And everyone wants to know the night alone
There's somebody else that feels the same somewhere
There's gotta be somebody for me out there
Nobody wants to be the last one there
Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares
There's somebody else that feels the same somewhere
There's gotta be somebody for me out there

Sunday, November 22

Fainting experience. @ 20:59

Apparently, my previous blog skin background was removed so I had to search for a new one. That's when I came across the "Nothing's wrong with dreaming" blog skin. Thought that it is rather meaningful so I simply added these words into my current blog template. Changed all the colours to match a certain concept too.

Hope you guys like this new and simple blog interface.

Now that the blog is settled. It is time to pen down the events that has happened for the past few weeks. I remember having many thoughts which I wanted to post but somehow it slipped off my mind. WUAHAHAHAahaha.. The typical me!

Anyway, shall post about what happened last Saturday as some of you are curious.

Last Saturday, I went for a blood donation in church at Expo Hall 8, Conference Room. At the start, I was almost rejected because my temperature was high, 37.5 degrees celsius. It might be due to the fact that I was wearing my thick denim jacket as I rushed to the venue. So I waited for another 5 minutes to take another temperature and it was 37.4 degrees. Managed to pass at the very borderline.

I complete all the process to donate blood and drank a packet of Milo and ate 1 piece of Oreo biscuit as I did not want to dirty my braces.

After 20-30 minutes, I started to feel a little weird and I knew that my body was not really well. Friends around me was also asking if I was alright because my lips were rather pale. My face color did not fade away as my make-up was on. So it was difficult to conclude that I was really not well. Besides, it was usually common that we might look a little pale after donating blood due to low blood pressure.

When service started, during the praise, I still managed to smoke through the whole session but I was feeling a little hot and cold and felt as if I was having fever. But when worship started, I felt giddy and started to lose my focus as I was feeling sleepy and feverish.

In the middle of the second worship, my body could not take it anymore and I intend to sit down. Before I could even react to sit, my vision and hearing had started to black out and fail.

The next moment, I realise that I was laying on the floor and Limei was holding onto my right arm as she shouted for Liwei's help to hold onto my left. I was totally spaced out even when Liwei was trying to talk to me. I could not seem to process any information coming in or going out of my brain. After a few minutes, I manage to gain my consciousness and realise that Liwei wanted to support me to the wheelchair so that the security guys can wheel me out.

Some of the guys panicked as they were lost about what to do. Some were giving orders. Some were getting a cup of milo for me. While another male usher, Liwei's friend, went to get a cup of warm milo and a packet of plain water.

My breathing was heavy as I was feeling a little breathless. I also felt like strength in my body has left me and I was totally weak. The nausea feeling was also really bad. There was no energy left to lift my head or even to breathe.

Liwei demanded the security guys to bring me to the kids playground area as the security meeting area was too noisy.

At the kids playground area, there was a couple, a nurse and doctor who saw that I was in a wheelchair came to render their help and checked my heart pulse. They explained the possibilities of reasons for my fainting situation and suggested that the biggest reason is due to the donation of blood.

Ian came out to check on me and asked Liwei to contact Daniel to take me to the clinic to check my condition.

After all the check-up, we went back to church to take our belongings. While waiting for my members to come over to the playground area where I was, Lester saw me and accompanied me until they came. I was feeling weaker again. The giddyness was coming back and my breathing start to get heavy again. But it was all gone when I start eating some raisins.

It was the first time in my life that I have fainted. It was a no kidding matter as it was not a common thing to faint. But this is 1 big experience that I have gained after such an embarassing act happened. HAHA.

Monday, November 9

The latter rain is always better than the former rain @ 21:22

However, the bad day is. There is always a remnant in every situation.

A couple of people brightened my day.

Annie really consoled me by assuring me that it was not my problem or my wrong because it is the responsibility of HR to do that. Even though there are certain attitude that people give to me because I am young and do not have experience and org/dept power, I know that there are even more powerful people that are backing me up. Haha. I know that my Senior Manager, Senior Executive who has a great network are right behind. But at the same time, I knew that I have to pick up certain things that cannot be taught but caught.

After that, Mia, my other colleague in Helpdesk, asked me to clarify my job scope with Annie so that I will be clear about what I was and was not required to do. Because, this contract Operations Manager, did a funny thing by wanting to pass me my CIO's call when my CIO is around. To me, it was clear that he is trying to shirk the call to someone else and the best person is me because I am probably stereotyped to be my CIO's PA. So Mia asked me to clarify my secretarial responsibility so that other colleagues cannot conveniently push certain PA matters to me.

Before Annie left with my responsibilities, she asked me why did I ask about this out of the sudden. I used a suggestive eye movement to point out the culprit. We both laughed after that.

I also asked about the iTap scheme which I was supposed to be hired under. And I seized the moment to ask what if the iTap scheme is cancelled, what would be my outcome. Without thinking or even hesitating, Annie replied me saying that they can just hire me into the company. And I was rather taken aback because I did not have any knowledge about IT!

Before leaving the office, we made certain funny jokes and I must really admit that Annie's laughter itself is already a laughing matter.

Really thank God for these people in my work place otherwise it would be a living hell. One thing that I have learned through all these events from work. Many times, we think that there is no more hope because there is no one left with you. But God will always set aside a remnant such that you will never be alone. There will always be some left.

Today I really had a bad day, especially when it happened in the morning! What a great Monday morning on a Monday blue.

It is simple.

Everything started off when 2 companies needed to create the Operations Manuel. It had got to do with who do what and what is required for each process. Hence, it is a workflow process for every department of every business units in both of the companies.

As a result, we require to have the Organisation Chart of each department to make this possible. However, coming from a chinese firm which started from a very small business, they do not have a department/organisational chart at all.

So we require HR's effort to collect this Organisation Charts from every department to reduce the level of threat/politics. Furthermore, HR has to have a copy of the Organisation Chart too.

The deadline to send me the organisation chart was last Friday. But when I called the HR Manager on Friday, I realised she has not started collecting or doing anything about it. Thats when the Tai Chi activity started.

She pushed the whole responsibility to someone under her to clear the mess. Hence, no doubt that the scape goat would be unhappy and unwilling.

So it started today when I called the lady who is now helping to collect the org chart because I received an email from her Manager that she has certain enquiry. Lo and Behold! She shouted and obviously vented her frustrations on me. She claimed that my email was not clear and why on earth do I need to use 2 kinds of communication - email and verbal. She also shot me down badly by saying that I kept talking about the past and demanded me to look forward in an aggitated and demanding tone. Disregarding my feelings and the impact of the words she use, she continued to shoot me further by saying that she dosen't care about what I said to her Manager and shut me up to say I am looking backwards. She repeated herself again and again that she did not want to hear anything about what the hell I have said last time. Slapping me in the face when she asked me to look forward, look forward, look forward understand? So I asked if it is possible to pass me the org charts on Friday since it is way behind the deadline that her Manager was suppose to meet.

Know what she said? She said "I try my best la ok? I try la.. But no promises la.." Me trying to be understanding and surpressing the anger that was bubbling up, I said "I understand you guys are busy but try to pass this to me asap lor.." So she shut me up by saying who is not busy! Everyone is busy what!

So I tried to be nice and asked if she has included a dateline for the heads to meet because according to her Manager, she said she will be sending every head an email to send me their org chart. But that lady said "Havent meet them yet la. They so busy this few days so not easy to meet them alright? If you think you can do better to collect from them then you do yourself la." What a bitchy freaking attitude and tone!

She hang up the conversation on me quickly and I slammed the damn phone.

As the anger is rising as I kept thinking about it, tears started to well up in my eyes not because I'm upset or anything. But simply the fact that I was freaking angry.

I mean to me, why are there such people on Earth?

What kind of attitude and tone is that? Honestly, after hearing all the words she said, I felt like a stupid, ignorant and naive puppy which is powerless and weak. I was there throughout for her to step on and feel great. I felt totally defeated.

But I kept telling myself that I cannot blow up, otherwise I will be like her. And looking at the way she work, it will not bring her very far even if she is capable. Just with a simple fact that she piss everyone off and nobody likes her. So she can't get away with certain things or get a better treatment.

Conclusion, she is an annoying HR personnel whom people have a stereotype that they should nice people. But sad to say, she failed terribly in this area.

Even though I know I have a certain attitude too, but at least draw a certain line to balance my working surrounding.

Sunday, November 8

When is the right one coming? @ 23:24

I wonder what is wrong with me. Is it because I'm tall? Is it because of my character, attitude or even personality? Is it because of my outward appearance? Or is it because of my behaviour?

I really wondered whether is it God's will for this to come to past? Or he has already showed up just that I refuse to admit it or come to terms with it?

I also wondered if this image of the type of guy I'm looking for actually exist on Earth and will I ever get to meet him or know him?

Honestly, I have this crazy thought about the someone in my mind. If there is a second chance given, will he still take it? And will I be alright to accept it? Feel like I am banging my head against the wall as I start to think or doubt the answer I gave last time. But I think even if time were to turn back, I will still make the same decision because I think we have grown a little after that whole episode.

Well, I know I got to be patient for the right one to come. However sometimes, it does feel like he is never going to show up because there is no such person on Earth. Again, this might be true. Because it is possible that the insecurity in me and the lack of trust in someone could cause me to set a rather high expectation on the one I am looking for.

So what now? Is there someone?

I gave up someone whom I think is rather not bad 5 years ago because I knew that there is someone else that He has planned for me. But I think I am losing hope to believe or even look out for that someone that is meant to be.

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Life is like a TV show

Monday, November 23

Gotta be Somebody by Nickelback @ 13:37

Sunday, November 22

Fainting experience. @ 20:59

Monday, November 9

The latter rain is always better than the former rain @ 21:22

Sunday, November 8

When is the right one coming? @ 23:24

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