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Life is like a TV show

Monday, September 20

Focus on 3 things @ 17:52

JOJO, be focused!

Focus on the 3 things to achieve by the end of next year -

1. Set up blogshop / website - starting from handmade cards by December 2010

2. Driving license starting from October, PASS by March 2011

3. Bike license starting from May 2011, PASS by October 2011.

I cannot let this pass by like it is only a thought. Somehow I know I must make it happen this time. I'm not going to spend on other stuff but I am going to focus everything on this 3 things! This meant that I would have to travel lesser except to Thailand or Taiwan but the intention and the focus to go to these places will be different.

So JOJO focus!
One very thing which I thank God for putting me through to be a cell leader is learning about His grace and mercies.

Leaving the environment of leadership where grace and mercies are abundantly shown in the character of most leaders, I was exposed to an environment where I was overwhelmed by people’s mindsets and thoughts which I felt is rather shallow as an overall.

I guess leading youth really caused me to expand my capacity. Looking at all the troubles and background of different teenagers caused me to feel what they felt, hence, the ability and strength to show grace although mistakes are repeatedly made.

Capacity is expanded when I understand the width, the length, the height and the depth of God’s love which caused me to understand what is meant by showing grace. Being the image of God, meant we ought to imitate Him and His character. The maturity of one person can be easily seen by the fruits of the spirit that is present in that person.

I was smacked in the middle of 2 guys whom I felt does not understand what God meant by loving others. I do agree that it is difficult to love those whom we do not favor but when we experience the love of God, we will be able to imitate His character. Love covers a multitude of sins.

"You have heard that it was said, 'An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.' But I tell you not to resist an evil person. But whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also. If anyone wants to sue you and take away your tunic, let him have your cloak also. And whoever compels you to go one mile, go with him two. Give to him who asks you, and from him who wants to borrow from you do not turn away. "You have heard that it was said, 'You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward have you? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet your brethren only, what do you do more than others? Do not even the tax collectors do so? Therefore you shall be perfect, just as your Father in heaven is perfect.” – Matthew 5:38-48

Very often, my colleagues will get upset easily by certain things that others has done to them, things which I thought are small and little and that’s when I taught them to let it go and move on. Even though, I also do get upset, but it should not be for a long time that you harbor bitterness towards the person because of the situation. Don’t take everything so personally.

Very often, my colleagues will also applaud me for the way that I dealt with matters, especially matters which involves people. My mindset, thoughts and behaviors are different from the world and how people would usually react. I guess that is because God has shown His character to me which I would also want to imitate.

So often, many would take things into their hands and fight for their own rights. However, since a young age, I have been taught to let it go and move on instead because they will reap what they sow one day. I also understand that the battle is the Lord’s hence there is no need for me to interfere or judge who is right or wrong. Therefore, I would try to focus on what ought to be learnt or be done.

I remember getting offended easily by what others say or how others behave but I have learnt to take it easy on those and just laugh it away. Although I still get offended on certain matters now, I would not let it bother me for too long. I have learnt the art of restraining and releasing to God who understand everything and is the Witness to all things.

Since the young age when by then we would have learnt what is comparing all about, I would compare various circumstances and wish that I am in a better league. However, I have learnt that the grass is never greener on the other side and we have to learn how to water our grass to get it greener. I learnt that there is no short cut to success. I grew up and learnt about the importance of thanksgiving.

God is fair.

He is sovereign.

At the end of the day, what profit is there when you fight for yourself and got what you want?

Sunday, September 19

Fighting against insecurity @ 12:58

By the way, I went for a movie yesterday to get alive during my weekend.

There was this FAT guy sitting beside me which made me feel really uncomfortable. No idea why. Definitely not because of his size!!

I guess it is because I felt insecured because I kept having this feeling like he was trying to touch me 'accidentally' in the theatre.

He was actively showing public affections to his girlfriend who was sitting at the other side the whole time. Everything was fine, I was feeling alright until at one point of time, he kept pulling his shirt. His elbow was lifted 90 degrees towards my chest as he pulled his shirt. Then he tried to take his drink which was just beside my thigh. He reached for the drink while looking at the direction of his girlfriend and blindly used his hands to feel the way to the drinks, and tried to come over my area. BUT I felt his intentions way beforehand so I literally leaned to other side towards my friend.

Uncomfortable totally TO THE MAX! I felt totally insecured throughout the movie and I was quite traumatized actually. My guy friend was sitting 2 seats away and I felt helpless as I could not avoid the situation and the feeling of insecurity.

So to my friends who were with me yesterday, I kept saying the guy is FAT and everything was because I was trying to get over the trauma by saying it out. But I couldn't bring myself to say why or how I really felt.

Maybe it is time to talk about it.

Seriously, I may look strong on the outside but deep inside, I am afraid of guys coming too close. I am extremely sensitive to guys who tries to or guys whom I felt like they are trying to touch me. Yeah, you may think I am being too sensitive. Maybe, it is true but I can't help it since there were traumatizing histories.

Now I just wish. Now I just hope I can find someone to fight these for me. Because he loves me so he protects. I know that God protects his people however, I needed this security and protection from a physical person against physical actions or intentions.

Please send someone reliable. Thank you Lord.
Tired and CHAO TA TTM!!

If you don't believe that I have turned from beige to brown, meet me face to face and you will know. Buurrrrrr... *I thought the brown days are over!*

Anyway, I will be cutting down on physical activities for 2 main reasons.

First major main one is I realize I am getting a figure like a MAN as I work out more. No surprise about it definitely since I have a bigger body frame compared to normal girls. BUT another fact adds oil to it, my muscles build up very fast! One exercise can firm up my muscles compared to others who has to do routine exercise to get the same effect. So I realize, it is time to take it easy since cycling uses some hand power and loads of back muscles.

Getting back the figure like what I had in JC when I was kayaking and dragonboating was as simple as 1,2,3.

My friend fancies the atheletic genes in my family but I beg to differ! For a female, it is no kidding. Imagine the contradiction of wearing a feminine clothing with a masculine figure? Though it is a fact for most sports woman in the world, but I think I have no need to go to that extend since I am not pursuing a sports career.

Another reason is because I had injured my arm during 1 of the tennis session with my Uni friends. It is an old injury from kayaking making a comeback. So I got to go easy on exercise.

Oooops.. I'm eating as I type this entry and my rubber band just broke. OUCH!

Alright, after lunch, I am going back to rest again = SLEEP. Gaining back my physical strength for the week starting tomorrow in terms of WORK.

Good night!
I didn't managed to get up in time for make-up Service today. I woke up and felt sick too; having soar throat and flu. I felt tired.

The question was, was it all worth it?

Yesterday, the sun was shinning brightly, the weather was hot; the condition was draining to one's stamina and endurance under the heat. I was totally burnt physically and outwardly. Was it all worth it? My conclusion was it definitely is worth it.

Everyone was fearing for the activity yesterday as it poured cats and dogs on the entire Friday. However, I was full of confidence that it will be sunny today. I knew that all things will turn out good for those who love the Lord. I woke up at 7.45am and I started praying and confessing.

"Be anxious for nothing but in everything by prayer and supplication; with thanks giving, let your request be made known to God." - Philippians 4:6

Truly, everything turned out well although there are some hiccups, I had the favor from some people to support the atmosphere constantly the whole time. Thank God for favor. We ended the day much earlier than communicated.

Overall, it was good. Everyone had the same conclusion at the end of the day - TEAM SPIRIT. I was glad, I was glad and I was definitely glad. I knew it was Him who has provided.

"Not by might nor by power but by my Spirit, says the Lord of host" - Zechariah 4:6

What I have been fighting and praying against was realized and hopefully they will take it from here and be better. Positivity, hope and team spirit was communicated through our magic moment led by Herman.
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.profile

I am colour blind. I am tall. I hate things that pops out suddenly, bursting of balloons and PAIN. I can be shy sometimes.

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Pokka Oolong. Vintage and Oriental styles. Monochrome. Beauty of nature. Forever Friends bear. COLOURS. Fashion. Photography. Volkswagen Beetle.

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Eleni

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