Life is like a TV show

Am I ready to face what I am suppose to face? I can only say I have to. I can't run away from it any longer.

Telling myself: "Your grace is sufficient."

Since the time I started serving, my leader at that time has always reminded us.

Assumption is the lowest level og knowledge.

Even till today, the smallest detail can be taken for granted and assumed; leading to a measure of misunderstanding.

What I learn, as I grow up, is the fact that sometimes common sense is not common. It is better to check things out.

Do you believe in miracle? I do. I always do. But this time the Miracle Maker has held back the miracle to show me something even more important than answered prayers.

Yesterday Pastor preached a word in season; a word which has also been dwelling in my heart; a word which I know but has been hiding and running away from it.

Deep in me, I knew I was getting frustrated because nothing seems to be happening (according to my way and my timing). I was starting to get frustrated with God which I knew should not even be that way. Because God is perfect but we are sinners, God has always been faithful but I was unfaithful. I knew the problem was me not Him.

I knew there were plenty of disappointments and discouragements which I had to deal with. Along with that, I needed to forgive and let go of those hurts. I knew a wall has been built to protect myself, to hide my insecurities and weaknesses. I didn't have faith to open up, I didn't have faith that I will not be hurt.

Like what Pastor said, when God judges the righteous, there will always be mercy because He judges to purify, not to condemn.

In my life, I saw many who were once promising disciples of God turn their back against Him and lose the chance, the opportunity for God's blessings. As a result, their hearts were hardened as they became resentful and bitter to those who did not miss that opportunity and receive their blessings. A slim chance of having them like how they used to be. I knew what the hardening of hearts will do, I knew what bitterness, resentment and hatred can do to a person. I knew what negativity can do to the future of someone.

I knew I long for that relationship that I once had. Not only to be called a righteous person but also a partaker of His holiness. Looking at all the life examples around me, I never want to end up to be a person who lose the blessings; the approval of God, or go to a place of no repentance and lose Him as my greatest Friend. At least, that's not the future I was looking for. I knew I had to bounce back quick.

Today, I finally found the strength to do my quiet time again. I picked up my guitar and played the chords for "You are for me" by Kari Jobe. Immediately, the presence of God came. I must say, truly those with a pure heart and a clean hands are able to meet God face to face. I searched for chords of "Running to You" by Hillsongs and did my quiet time.

I knew I struggled to put everything else aside. "My flesh is weak but my Spirit is willing." In my vision, I saw myself wearing various layers of clothing to protect my true self from getting hurt. As I stood in the presence of God, I removed each layer and said "I make a decision to trust in You."

What more can I do except to ask for His grace and mercy to lead, teach and instruct me in the way I should go? What else can I say when He said His mercies are everlasting and His grace is sufficient for me? Why should I doubt when He has always been that faithful One in my life?

There is a need for a change. A re-aligning of my priorities. "Seek first the kingdom of God, and all will be added to you that your joy may be complete."

The moment I ended my quiet time, I saw my miracle happened an hour ago; almost the time when I started my quiet time. What more can I say? He already knew everything in its time.

Bloody ID*..

I spoke to the person-in-charge a couple of weeks ago. He commented that when they launched this scheme, it is to benefit the info-comm industry because they are concerned. Since I benefitted from this industry, I should contribute into this particular industry.

My stand? I replied and said "But in this present, in this entire working industry, there is no longer a specific boundary as to each job and role because we overlap. I never intend to go overseas and so staying here and benefitting Singapore AS A WHOLE."

So what's with the benefitting 'our own' industry about, when 1 main concern is about Singaporeans venturing out and migrate eventually? And bloody employers are using employees to multi-task into so many other industries. All these were thoughts in my heart which I can't bear to voice out because it will turn out to be a bloody arguement. It is all about perspectives. What's with the narrow-mindedness?

MOE encouraged us to be an all-rounder and implemented PEARLS during my JC days which I probably think that it has been taken away. And how many students can actually cope with this 'all-rounder' requirements without compromising results?

*Sigh* Oh well, no point getting frustrated right? At the end of the day, I still have to submit to their requirement because they are the superior party in this situation. But I just needed to vent. I know I can go through this and fulfill the bloody info-comm requirements. FIGHTING.

You knew it would be a tough walk. Before you started the journey, you counted the cost. You weighed the pros and cons for choosing this path. You chose this path knowing the pros outweigh the cons in a long run.

Before embarking on this journey, you equiped yourself with the right tools; having a positive mindset that anything can be done as long as you are not walking alone. You are prepared to make certain sacrifices in order to keep walking in this path. And most importantly, you held the hands of the Potter.

Everything was good when you set out. You had His promises guarded tightly in your heart. You had a strong positive mindset that everything will work out eventually. You had faith even though you are not sure how to go about it. You were close to His very heartbeat, knowing His thoughts.

However, the road is never always smooth and you knew it before making that decision. Meeting certain obstacles causes your faith to leak, your mindset to start changing, your heart to start failing and your hands to start losing the grip.

Time and time again, you are at the crossroads - to give up or keep walking, keep believing? Here comes the killer, the stealer, the destroyer trying to influence you negatively. Negative thoughts will come easily.

Now, it's time for battle. Battle in the mind, in the heart and in the spiritual. Time to use the helmet, the breastplate, the belt, the shoe, the shield and the sword. Keep holding onto whatever you had in the beginning. Hold onto the promises. Hold onto what He has said. Hold onto faith. Hold onto the faith that He is for you, not against you to give you a future and a hope! Hang on and keep walking.

You will get through because He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world. And you who is walking this path should understand that He will never give you what you cannot bear. Keep walking and believing; do not be unstable in your ways by doubting.

I will keep walking and see the hands of God moving. Anyway, it's too late to regret. I have come too far to give up.